“Everybody lies – every day, every hour, awake or during sleep, in joy or sadness”, Mark Twain
Statistics show that 91% of people lie regularly at home, work or during social events. And their lies go undetected in 80% of situations.
Many of us lie without realizing it. When somebody asks, “How are you?”, the regular answer is “I am fine, thank you!”. But the truth is you are not well at all. You have problems to solve, you feel insecure about your life partner or your child is in trouble at school. But is not polite to tell people what you really feel because you can turn a simple question to an awkward situation.
A lie can destroy a life or the emotional comfort but also can be an important asset to be active and to survive in the society.
The family relations, especially between teenagers and their parents, are a good place to test lies and boundaries.
We can find little lies between love partners, lies about her outfit look or about his new sport equipment investment.
Sometimes, it is not funny or wise to tell someone exactly what we think. We can constantly offend people and this thing can ruin our reputation or our interests.
These are the 7 reasons why most people lie:
- Because they do not want to hurt somebody’s else feelings
Almost all children are being taught by their parents and also, they find out themselves that is acceptable to lie in order not to hurt a person’s feelings.
For example, on Christmas Eve when somebody opens the presents and finds an ugly sweater knitted by an aunt, cannot say that it does not fit his style, or the colors are not his favorites. He just smiles and says thank you.
All the time, people wait for confirmations from their friends, family, or colleagues. So, that is why so many people cannot always say the truth because being honest can become an offense to the others and might affect their self-respect and self-trust.
2. Lying for hidden reasons
People lie not only to protect another person feeling but also to create a nice and favorable relationship. A lie can be something someone would say just to keep her job, and of course is not true or if she wants to sell a product or a service but that product’s description is not entirely accurate.
Liars often handle personal compliments like a weapon. All they want is to gain a benefit, to reach their purpose and to succeed. Lying becomes a habit and is performed with the same ease as breathing.
3. Lying for self-prevention instinct
Nobody is 100% honest during human interactions. People lie to save a friendship relation or a marriage but most of the lies are for “friendly-enemies”. We all have, around us, this kind of “friends” whom we do not really like but we do not want to discard entirely the relationship with them.
4. Lying to create a good image and avoid rejection
The reason why many people lie about their weight, high or real age is because they want to create a social acceptable self-image. Eventually, they must tell the truth, but they agree to themselves to take the chance just for the opportunity to make a good first impression with others and not to be rejected just from the beginning.
People exaggerate about personal experiences just to create the impression of being a fun and interesting person. Some of them do this on social networks and others on one to one interaction.
Frequently, most people lie or overreact about accomplishments and avoid talking about personal failures. This is the way to protect social image and to show themselves in a good and favorable light.
5. Lying to avoid punishment
If you take a close look at children, you can see the strong motivation to lie just to avoid a possible punishment. Adults do the same thing if they are motivated not to lose their jobs or not to be sentenced to prison. Law courts are full of people who lie about their criminal actions, trying to get rid of the legal punishment.
6. Lying to protect another person
People can lie a lot, just to protect someone they love or admire. Caring for someone else can go beyond any immediate possible consequences and make those people ignore the risks of being discovered.
7. Telling a lie to motivate others
If you do not know how this can be possible, just think about the famous cartoon character Popeye The Sailor Man. He advised all children, around the world to eat spinach because this way will help them become strong and fearless. Maybe this was the parents “secret weapon” to determine children to eat their vegetables.
Or, imagine a doctor who tells a white lie to a patient, just to help him to keep faith, believe in himself and continue his treatment.
Of course, it is not recommended but sometimes, an innocent lie, can be extremely helpful. It is called PLACEBO.
After you read this and understand why you lie (sometimes) try to make a personal count and check how many times per day you tell a lie. I believe you will be surprised 😊
Please feel free to share this article, comment or ask me questions.
See you soon!
P.S. Beside useful written information, I can help you with:
1-on-1 consulting for boosting your first impression for customer care, sales, job interview, or…. enjoying an astonishing first romantic date.